Gray (5/7/06)

Sitting on my bed, the window open,
Listening to music
That reminds me of
A tall, dark-haired youth.

Times like this, it seems so black-and-white.
The older presence fades from memory,
And I wonder at this new confusion.

But zoom in close enough, and even black and white become gray.
Did I love him? Did I?
I remember his heartbeat, brimming emotion,
And never wanting to leave.

But he left with a pale witch
As I stood in the dark with a torch.
Lies, lies, lies- give me a flashlight!

Enter that tall acquaintance with black hair,
Heralded by confusion.
I’d like to say, “I know what he’s doing,”
To say, “He’s doing it for me,”
But I’m back to the state of not knowing at all.
I can’t even trust myself right now;
My motives are too superficial.

I guess Life is never in black and white,
That there’s always a gray area;
The twilight of emotions.